Muskana Akanaka

Yes I'm that girl...


When you love someone unconditionally its easier to let them go, it will hurt but that’s just a feeling soon to fade…but the love will always be there…

—Ibegz2differ (Diana)

Ezra is A?!!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

Ezra is A. Okay, something about this theory that just isn’t fitting, like what’s his drive or goal? I can think of a couple of things but all that hussle… Unless there is some hidden past we are about to find out hmmmm Definitely didn’t see this coming, so excited!!!!!!!


8 | 13 | 2013

Twa appreciation.

My hair has never felt more moisturized. I left my jar of shea butter in my car and when I went to go get it, I saw that it was melted. I decided to mix some castor oil in the the melted butter before it turned solid. 

It was a genius idea because when I sprayed my hair with water and applied some of the mix two days ago, my hair never felt better!

It loves this stuff.

Two and a half days later and my hair still feels great.
I think applying the mixture may become a routine.

(via urbancaricature)


I tried to write down my feelings for you
But my hand wouldn’t stop shaking.
There is no other way to get the words out
And I cannot write,
So I will show you just how I feel.
I’ll take these trembling hands
And run them down your spine,
Transferring the quaking
Into you.

Pissed at myself

Quite pissed at myself, first didn’t hand in my final portfolio work for my second yeah cause of stuff. So I applied for mitigation and they approved and gave till August to hand in my work, this was back in July. Instead of actually improving or actually doing my work I have been procrastinating. Now the work is due in for this coming Friday and I haven’t got anything to hand in. If I don’t hand this in it means repeating second year and I don’t want to do that at all. I have put myself in a very difficult situation, why? I don’t freaking understand. Like why was I not doing this work all along, its not even like an essay that needs to be done. Im talking designing, sketching and model making type of work. Not even amused at myself… *sigh*

I met a guy tonight

I met a guy tonight

He reminded me of someone

The way I was drawn to him

Every word that came out of his mouth

My goodness…

The way he spoke about life, music, his soul, the world…

It made my mouth water

3 hours, 27 minutes, 45 seconds later

Still on my mind

Just thinking about him, makes me feel alive

I want to be alive

Im not talking about holding hands and walking toward the sunset


Im talking about holding hands and walking to the edge of a cliff,

Blind folded

Taking that leap

I’m no writer or poet 

And I don’t know any big words or how to rhyme

But I met a guy tonight 

He reminded me of someone I almost knew

The way he spoke

It made my mouth water…

And at the end of the night he said

"See you around" 

If only life came with a preview button…

I was just thinking and I realized that at the start of University had I not made the choices I did, I would not be where I am right now or gone through what I did. Its like in a split second without thinking you make a decision and what you are not aware of is how that decision is going to impact your life. The consequences that you will suffer, I don’t know, I kinda wish life came with a preview button. That way you can sort of see where the road you chose to take will lead you…

But obviously and sadly if I might add, thats not how it works. I mean not to say I learnt nothing from life in the past two years. Just that I would have preferred not to have gone threw any of it… Just as a young person we tend to base most of our decisions on the NOW rather than looking FORWARD. Take me for example;

First week at uni, everything is hype, people are meeting making new friends and you don’t wanna be that person who doesn’t have anyone to talk to. So I make a click with some of the girls from my flat, we go out to the student union’s welcome party. We start meeting more new people and I know I think to much but I believe that night built my future up to now. So yeah as I was saying, someone comes to me and we start talking, everything is cool, we click etc etc and then the “group” I had initially came with decide its time to leave. So what do I do? I basically ditch this person I was clicking with and I don’t know their name and when they asked me for my number to get in contact I just walked off and pretended I didn’t know them. Its when you do something stupid and you can see yourself doing it and you just wanna smack yourself like “self!!!! what the heck are you doing?!!” Till now I still feel bad for what I did that night. But yeah, after that the girls I thought I clicked with turned out we had nothing in common and we never really talked that much…and I ended up being that person who had no one, the person I didn’t want to become in the first place. 

Its just there on after that everything just went down the hill, cause you become desperate. Who ever shows the slight interest in wanting to be your friend you cling onto strong. But then you lose sight that this person could potentially ruin your whole life…

If only I had given my time to the people who actually put in the effort to talk to me then maybe things would be different. But since I cannot do anything about that now, the only thing that stops me from getting lost in wondering what could have been. Is the realization that, maybe what I went through was nothing compared to what I could have gone through had I made a differeny choice…